I had planned to ditch the pumpkin talk and divulge my experiences with Salem's witches. Don't worry--that post will come. It's just we are in crisis mode Chez Canuck. Forget the bailout, forget politics.
THE DEMISE OF THE GREAT PUMPKIN IS NEAR.
We have been storing The Great Pumpkin in the garage in an attempt to preserve it and planned to put it on display mid-October. Jamie would lovingly stroke it as he walked by and even played fun games like London Bridges.
But then things really did start to fall down as The Great Pumpkin started leaking on Tuesday. Big, orange gobs of greasy, grimy pumpkin guts. And once the leaking starts, so does the rotting.
That night, we resolved to put it on display before it met its demise. Have you ever tried to roll a 755-pound pumpkin? I hope to never do it again. Small children were almost caught in the crossfire and my back will never be the same.
Because I am just that nice.
Only now I am doing it for an orange monstrosity that I did not even give birth to.
And the saddest thing is Jamie's obsession is actually making sense.
Actually, that is not the saddest thing. The saddest thing is The Great Pumpkin will not survive until Halloween and there will not be any pumpkin boat races. Nor will there be The Great Pumpkin stand. I admittedly planned to bake 5,000 loaves of pumpkin bread and have little Haddie sell them for me.
Because I am not above 1) capitalizing upon The Great Pumpkin and 2) exploiting my cute child in the process.
Though I cannot imagine the backlash if people had driven by and ignored both her and The Great Pumpkin.
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I can picture it now: You cut open the top (which is actually the side, right?) like a jack-o-lantern, shovel out the insides (quite literally, I'm sure), and then you all sit inside it and have holiday photo cards made.
Of course getting all the punkin' innards out of your holiday sweaters may not be worth the picture. ;)
I feel a little sad here. No more tales of the great pumpkin? Sad..really really sad!
Since pumpkin bread is no longer a option..what about pumpkin seeds? Do they go bad when it starts to ooze or do you have a window of opportunity to exploit and prosper?
I love your great pumpkin. That's just the best. (except fot the rotting orage goo)
Well first I think you should be charging for pictures of the Great Pumpkin until it loses too much guts and looks less, what shall we say, plump. And then advertise it as having gone through Weight Watchers and then wait for the phone to ring as offers come in to pay you for a Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig endorsement! I bet with that money you might even be able to afford to raise two giant pumpkins next year.
Ummm, wasn't the pumpkin party already it's death day party? I mean that's when it was cut from the vine right? So I think you are good on the party front, unless of course you need support from those near and dear to you.
Dynamite would be a fun and messy way to get rid of it. Seriously though, you should compost it so that it can help the next generation of giant pumpkins.
Put a stick of dynamite in it! FUN! I don't think I could ever drive Miss Haddie, I think I would have bought all 5,000 loaves from her. :) Because I am just that nice!
Giant jack o lantern?
I think a great pumpkin wake is in order. There should be family and friends gathering bringing their best pumpkin dish and lots of reminiscing of the great life that once was.
Sniff... so sad.
Wow--those are some big issues facing the great pumpkin. How about call the food bank and tell them you have a produce pickup.
how did you do it last year? didn't you go through this whole process last year? did it start rotting this early? jw.
i think you should just leave it next to the trash cans for the garbage truck to pick up. it would be fun to watch the expression on the guys face as he tries to figure out what to do with it =)
The end of an era. Sigh. Jamie sure is lucky to have you!
Sick, sick, sick. No more parties. I can't take this anymore. (hahaha)
Just catching up on your blog - ummm, I really am starting to think you guys are crazy - you are so pumpkin crazed you went to a fair that specializes in growing the BIG ones?!! Okay, if you're not crazy, you're certainly more of a loving wife that I am!!
PS Massachusetts is beautiful!!
Oh - and I forgot to say you should cut your pumpkin up and make some pumpkin pie or something out of it - then it can keep on living for a bit longer! If you really got ambitious you could can it. But I wonder if large pumpkins are as undesirable to eat as large zuchinni? I don't know, just a thought!
I guess you'll be hosting a wake, but you should all wear orange instead of black. You should also serve lots of pumpkin food items to celebrate its life. :)
I suppose a funeral pyre is out of the question? What with the neighbors and all? It would certainly be dramatic.
Also: I LOVE BOSTON TOO!! More than almost any other city. And I wish I could move there. We seriously might be twins. :)
If you lived a little closer to me, or I thought the GP would survive the drive I would offer my neighbor's catapult. He flings large objects (pumpkins/melons/rocks) about willy nilly. But it would be fun to see Jamie trying to load the beast up dripping goo. Although, it does seem a brutal end. Doesn't it? Enjoy your final days with GP!
I have amazing recipes for Pumpkin Ginger soup and pumpkin muffins. Now, you could either make enought o feed the Greater Colorado area or just enough for the family to enjoy. Email me if you want them.
Tough questions.... I think the chain saw idea is likely the most efficient. You could run with it - create a crime scene and then a funeral - sharing an obit and the whole bit... maybe on halloween.... okay maybe that is all over the top.... but then again maybe not????
I think you need a pumpkin poem reading as well.
Pumpkins
Pumpkins tugging at their vines,
Pumpkins growing round and green.
Pumpkins hiding in the leaves,
Pumpkins shyly, smooth and clean.
Pumpkins shining in the rain,
Pumpkins plumping in the sun.
Pumpkins blushing underneath,
Turning orange, one by one.
by Heather Mitchell Amey
i say chainsaw massacre! now THAT would be exciting. and i like that sign you have in your front yard! i see nothing wrong with capitalizing on the great pumpking...i would totally buy pumpkin bread from your haddie!
Yah, can you eat the seeds? That is my favorite part.
I think you should try a shot gun! Then it will explode all over. :)
Sorry for your impending loss - take comfort knowing Great Pumpkin's influence was wide-spread and life-changing.
I'd say go with a party and let everyone take turns smashing it :) You're yard has turned into a small carnival side show where people pay money to walk inside the tent to be greeted by "The Great Pumpkin"!!!!
Here in Delaware we have good ol' Punkin Chunkin http://www.punkinchunkin.com/main.htm. I think you should haul it here and take part in our annual tradition. Love the sign by the way. Such a supportive wife!!
I think you should definitely go all George Carlin on it. Tell people there'll be a show, rent out clear tarps for them to protect themselves, and then smash it to bits and watch the goo fly!
Love the shot gun idea! You should make pumpkin stuff....not sure what...but surely you could use it for something?! Oh... I got an idea. You could charge people to take pictures with it!
All you need is some hay, some cute little animals to pet, and your driveway would be complete...LOL.
OMG,I totally thought of you this morning when I was on the treadmill at the gym. The local news station was doing a special on the largest pumpkins. I was looking for Jamie...sorry, I didn't see him!
I have wondered just what had happened to the Great Pumpkin. But it's still around, eh? Maybe those guys back in Massachusetts have some ideas.
Whatever you do, maybe you could have a memorial for it.
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